Attis,
a stereotypical NortheasternerHello, I am Attis. Though I was born with a proverbial silver spoon in my mouth, my father insisted that I begin working at the age of 16. He sent me out of the house with naught but my wits and a few dollars, and I have worked hard ever since, parlaying my father's millions into hundreds of millions. I respect tradition in all of its forms, and I wish I could have lived during the golden age of capitalism in the 19th century, an era in which the government was under control. In those days, before the socialists came to power, hard working entrepreneurs could truly thrive. Alas, we must all work that much harder now. FDR sent us down the road to serfdom in the 30s, and then, in the 60s, the hippies drove our national car over the cliff into a den of depravity.